Josh Shaine ([info]joshwriting) wrote,
@ 2006-06-26 21:16:00
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How do you define "Significant Other?"
Over on Sheroes, there have been a few threads on related topics. Pictures of your S.O. and how many have you had and other such things.

As I read responses, it seemed to me that folks had radically different ideas of what a significant other entails. So, I ask you, what makes somebody your significant other, not merely the person you are dating or your boy/girlfriend.

What makes it significant?!

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[info]siderea
2006-06-27 01:52 am UTC (link)
I thought "SO" was a superset of AotA.

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AotA?
[info]etherial
2006-06-27 02:55 am UTC (link)
Is that the plural of iota?

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Re: AotA?
[info]siderea
2006-06-27 03:17 am UTC (link)
All of the Above.

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[info]eveninghawk
2006-06-27 03:41 am UTC (link)
I personally would define my significant other as the person I am dating... though I think folks tend to see it as more of an "official" term than "person I am dating." I think the term is a way to get around being specific about the gender of the person you are with, for whatever reason it is that you don't feel the need to be specific. The other term that gets used this way is "partner"... though that word can imply a deeper level of commitment.... so I've always thought of "SO" as a synonym for "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and "partner" as a synonym for "husband" or "wife."

course, if you don't have a person who fits those categories, it seems as though a person could fill in the blank with whatever takes up most of their time.

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[info]mirmie
2006-06-27 03:57 am UTC (link)
I always think of significant other as a very general term that encompasses all sorts of romantic relationships.

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[info]zilsrainydayz
2006-06-27 07:38 am UTC (link)
sig·nif·i·cant
adj.
1)Having or expressing a meaning; meaningful.
2)Having or likely to have a major effect; important
3)Fairly large in amount or quantity
4)probably caused by something other than mere chance


According to this I could perhaps define it as 1)
someone who means a lot to you in the sense of romantic relationships. Perhaps not just little fling, but a semi-serious relationship, though not extreme?

2)Someone who influences your life, who you're close to in a relationship such as this. Someone who will change your life, perhaps, in a way that you will remember, even if you are to break up at a later date, it's not a relationship that broke up after two weeks or two months that you hardly include in your list.

3)a fairly large (serious) relationship, though not necessarily very.
4) this can go along with if you believe in fate and that you're meant to be together, or you're meant to know each other... or something.

You could perhaps get various meanings for "significant other" than what I ATTEMPTED to say, just from those definitions.

What I find confusing is the "other" bit... The other part of you? the other person that's more than just another person? your other girl/boyfriend (as in, out of all your past gfs/bfs) that's important to you?

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[info]jenanoelle
2006-06-27 09:22 am UTC (link)
..that they take up a significant part of your time/money ;)

(not an extremely serious answer, but it *is* 5am..)

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[info]dmnsqrl
2006-06-27 10:24 am UTC (link)
If I am using the term 'significant other', I'd probably not be talking about someone I was "dating" (although I have to be in a particular not-usual-for-me place to be 'just dating', I have a strong bias to forming a strong emotional connection and see-this-person-as-a-primary-focus-in-my-life with one person) but any time where I would be referring to one person having a particular unique connection with me which is also romantic in nature... I would be comfortable using the term "significant other" about that person.

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[info]etherial
2006-06-27 11:49 am UTC (link)
Someone becomes your SO when others know to expect you to be together when they see you.

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[info]dragoness13
2006-06-27 12:21 pm UTC (link)
I think the key word that makes SO different than just anyone you're having a fling with is the latter part, the other. It implies the kind of 'other half' relationship. Which 'significant' would support?

If not, than it's just, "a gender-blind, politically correct term to refer to a person's partner in an intimate relationship without disclosing or presuming anything about his or her marital status or sexual orientation. It is also vague enough to avoid offence from using a term that an individual might consider inappropriate (e.g. lover when she considers him a boyfriend, or girlfriend when he considers her a life partner)."

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[info]superfinemind
2006-06-27 04:06 pm UTC (link)
Regard to the first part, could it be related to the psychological "Other"?

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[info]superfinemind
2006-06-27 04:14 pm UTC (link)
"SO" is easier to say than girlfriend, boyfriend, sometimes-whatever, um-friend, or most other things. And easier to type. Expansion of "OSO" is clunky, but not as much as "boyfriend's other girlfriend."

The long form is unspecific enough and the short form chummy enough that it's unlikely to offend/squidge/whatever mostly anybody-- I don't like being asked about "lovers," for instance. I just don't like the word.

A universally generic term: more-than-just-friends regardless of nuances. People will understand that the person is special in a particular way to you without you going into details of how you define the relationship. A catch-all.

Avoids pesky details-- an SO can be a person you're sleeping with but not dating, without having to go TMI with somebody you've just met. Many of my boys, I wouldn't have called it "dating" except in polite company, because we never went on terribly many dates-- out for meals and movies and so forth. Or maybe it's mutually expressed interest, but nothing's actually happened: I almost never see Kitten, but she's definitely on my SO list.

What makes it significant: this person is special to you, is what makes them significant. Worthy of mention. Short list.

Counter question: what is the difference between a significant (noteworthy) friend, and a significant other? Where does that line fall? What makes it Other?

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[info]dragoness13
2006-06-27 04:23 pm UTC (link)
And with that, I think I'll have to add you.

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[info]superfinemind
2006-06-27 04:38 pm UTC (link)
*eyebrows* ...because I can blather about significant others?

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[info]dragoness13
2006-06-27 06:13 pm UTC (link)
Because of how you write, the fact that you're friends with Josh and your userinfo (more particularly your interests which list great authors and what-not).

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[info]superfinemind
2006-06-27 06:33 pm UTC (link)
*laugh* Okay. *smile* Either way is fine.

And, yeah, the interests more reflect me-- the rest of the userinfo is for the character I RP under that journal with.

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